Blog Archives

Moving Forward to the New

1/1/2020

Circa 1954

Every family has issues.

Whether it's something as simple as sibling rivalry or as serious as substance abuse, every family has them. I believe that family is forever and is the crucial foundation for a society that is lacking in so many moral issues these days. So we take family and embrace it with everything we got...the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, the crazy along with the normal, and the tiny moments in between that make up most of our days. Family is everything and forever.

It's been six months since I last blogged. Christmas a year ago was ushering in a new year full of unknowns for me: my health; my marriage; my work; and my securities as I had always known them...I must confess it was a time of great hardship and sometimes utter despair and confusion. I didn't know it at the time, but I would also lose the man who brought me into this world in the coming months. The past six months have found me striving to be in a better place. I've been working hard trying to get healthier, making better choices for my life, and deciding what I want to do when I grow up (!!!), while at the same time trying to maintain family connections and connections with friends who are like family. And, believe me, you drag all those people through the mud with you. But isn't that what family is all about? Six months of praying, pondering, crying in the nights and facing doubts in the days left me a broken person but a person with a desire to be whole again. It's been a time of hurting and healing, tears and laughter, and immense soul-searching. After all, Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time for everything under the sun. I hope to share more about that at another time.

But back to family. My siblings and I have joined the club this week of 'no longer having our parents with us.' It is a club we didn't want to join because we are so blessed to have had the best, loving parents. We have absolutely no choice who our parents will be when we come into this world and, if you're blessed enough to have a mama and daddy who truly love you, well, then you're very blessed. And our family really can't complain because they were with us longer than most people get and, as we laid my father to rest this week, we felt such love and peace remembering the sweet times we had with him, the joy and goodness he showed his family, and the promise of being together again some day on the other side. It's so wonderful to be able to say that and to truly believe it in our hearts.

My father believed in family and there was nothing more important to him than family. Everything he did in life was secondary to his family. He was not a greatly educated man, but he had the knowledge and wisdom of what it meant to have family and to be family and to cherish family. If me and my siblings were ever at odds, he felt the need to help us mend it. If he ever thought he'd hurt one of us (which he never did), he was troubled until he knew everything was in harmony again. His relationship with my mom was far from perfect but he loved her unconditionally and longed to be with her again in his last days. I believe he is with her now and that makes me smile. I believe my dad was ready to go be with his Lord. My family was in a peaceful place and he was ready to say goodbye because he knew that we were all okay. My brother saw him Christmas Day, and me the next. He was waiting on my sister to get there and, when she arrived on the 27th, it wasn't long before she kissed him goodbye for the last time. There is no greater connection than to share blood with another human (or make babies with them!). If you are estranged from a family member, I implore you to make it right. If you tend to take your family for granted, I urge you to learn to cherish them no matter how rotten they may be. We have no promise that we will get one more day together on this earth, and we must live like today is our very last one.

As for the new year that is upon us, I am looking forward to the new year with hope and anticipation. I feel inspired to write again and I owe that to my sweet daddy because he always always always supported me in everything I did and made me feel valued and worthy of someone who has something to share. I pray that your year will be a year of blessings, hope, and new beginnings for you. I pray that you will see the value you have as person in this great family we call humanity We have a fresh new set of months and weeks and days and hours to dream and improve and move ahead and make better and , even though this year ended with having to say a hard goodbye for me, I say hello to the future, and all its beautiful possibilities.

And I plan to keep family closer than ever because another year will be over before we know it. Here's to family, friends, and all the love our hearts can hold in 2020 !

******

For all the wonderful friends who have sent me condolences for the passing of my father, I sincerely thank you. Many of you have shared memories of my father from many years ago...how kind he was or something he did for you that you've never forgotten. I am so honored to have had a father who people remember in those ways, and it makes me love him even more.

Daddy...never Forgotten