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Demons of Speed

8/7/2014

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PictureThe devil's whippin' his wife
I have decided that people are in way too big of a hurry.  I had to be somewhere 22 miles from home this morning and gave myself 45 minutes to get there.  That's traveling a range of 45 to 65 miles per hour, depending on which road I was on, how many traffic lights went my way, and considering the back-to-school traffic didn't delay me too much. The quickest way to reach my destination (or any destinaiton around these parts) is to travel a couple of miles down a divided four-lane highway. Sometimes you feel as though you're taking your life into your own hands, and I always pray before venturing out because I KNOW that my life is in God's capable hands.  But this morning's experience convinced me to take a different route home on the return trip.  As soon as I pulled onto the highway in my little four-cylinder (and it goes from 0 to 65 pretty quick for a four-cylinder), there were cars on me like a fly on honey.  Seeing how they were at least a mile down the road when I pulled out tells me that they were traveling at a much higher speed than the 65 mile an hour speed limit.  Once I turned off the four-lane, I thought to myself Whew...glad to be off 316, now I can cruise on in without the speed demons chasing my rear end...I stopped for my morning nourishment and headed down Hwy. 81, content to maintain a solid "five miles over the limit," when I noticed a car right on my bumper.  In fact, the car was so close to my bumper that I couldn't even see it in my rearview because its headlights were obscured with the mirror being in the "night position."  It gives you a better view of cars in the distance -- even the near distance, but not right on your caboose.  Coming to a four-way stop and deciding I was unwilling to suffer pending heartburn from trying to eat  in the car with another vehicle tailing my posterior, I pulled into a turn lane and circled the intersection.  A young woman flew by, not even looking my way and it's probably a good thing because I woud've blinded her with the garish stare I sent her way.  As I neared my destination on the last leg of my journey, once again a car rode my bumper.  Oh, for Heaven's sake.  One more time I prepared to pull over and let the speed queen (or king, I couldn't tell which) get on by when they zipped around me on a double-yellow line and left me in the dust (so to speak).  Where are the ticket-givers when you need them?  Traveling another mile down the road as I came to one of the last intersections on my route, who should I see right in front of me but the person who had just zoomed around me like a bat outta you know where.  As they made their right-hand turn, I smoothly sailed past them and can't deny that I was grinning like a mongoose over the fact that their little scheme of passing me on a double yellow line hadn't gotten them any further down the road and literally no faster to where they were going.  What is that story about the tortoise and the hare?  

So...this evening as I was headed back home, I decided I would take the scenic route along all the back roads that wind around the four-lane highway that splits the county.  As I entered my neck of the woods, I felt the calm at being able to cruise a safe 45 miles per hour, passing only a few cars.  And, as you can see in the picture above, I experienced the sun and the rain simultaneously on my drive home.  Now, my mom used to say that when that phenomenon occurs (when it rains and the sun is shining at the same time) the devil is whippin' his wife.  I thought that a rather daft remark because who in their right mind would ever consider marrying the devil!  No one, that's who!  But I do know this:  If these speed demons don't slow down, some of them unfortunately are gonna meet him sooner than they think (and his wife too if he has one)!      

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