Filthy McNasty

On the trail in my happy place, smells and all!

I made sure I had all the necessary tools in place. Because to not do so could most definitely evoke the frustration that has tried to infiltrate my head lately. Everything is a bit harder in an RV and proper preparation is key to success. I had been mentally psyching myself up for the task ahead. Let’s see…towel; face soap; bath wash and shampoo; clean clothes; bathmat in place. Yep, let’s get it done. Taking a shower these days is something I almost dread. Now, I feel ashamed to admit this because there are so many people in the world who would just love to shower, if they had but a shower and hot water and soap with which to do it. I have all three. I also have an adorable little skylight above my head in the shower which sheds plenty of light on the subject that completely fills the stall, from front to back and side to side and top to bottom. Okay, I am wholeheartedly ashamed now for my sarcasm. But in all fairness to moi, IT IS an elbow-bumping event. One particular shower, I found myself standing in two inches of bath water before I realized what was happening. The hubs had not emptied the gray water tank in the RV.

Ewwe. Double Ewwe.

Some would have the audacity to call me Filthy McNasty. My dad coined that phrase 20 years ago when he and mama moved into the house where they would live the 18 years before she passed away. When we finally made it to the house with the first load of furniture on moving day, we found it extremely dirty where the folks who inhabited it before had not so much as swept a floor for the new homeowners. My dad in his soft, understated humor voiced his opinion about the matter... "I think Filthy McNasty must’ve lived here!" Maybe the previous owners came up short on time or maybe they were just filthy mcnasties, who knows? It’s a good thing mama stayed back at the old house to finish the packing because she would’ve had a fit seeing that filthy place. But daddy’s remark made me laugh and gave me the energy to get to cleaning and at least make it presentable for mama when she got there.

When I travel with my best friend, which is usually about two to three times a year – once to the mountains in the fall and once to the beach in the spring and then maybe an extra trip here and there depending on what we’re celebrating with the other two gals in our posse – she simply cannot understand why I don’t shower every single day. Well, mostly I do but there is the occasional day where I freshen up, brush my teeth (always and without fail), and rake a comb through my hair (another saying I got from my daddy!). But I am fresh as a flower and ready for my day, even though some think it a mortal sin to not get under the waterfall every single solitary day. But, hey, what can I say? I’m a four to five time a week shower-taker and living in an RV full-time has not helped the situation at all. I am convinced when we get back into a house and I have a nice, large shower with a massive rainfall shower head, I may take two showers a day. Uh...probably not. When we were kids, we got in the tub once a week. Yep, that’s right. I was a country girl then, and we played outside barefoot all day, came in, washed the black Georgia soot off our feet, and went to bed. Saturday night we pulled out all the stops…got a bath, got our hair shampooed and set with prickly curlers and went to church the next morning for a fresh start to our week, both physically and spiritually (mama did remove the curlers first, though). This is inconceivable by some but, hey, we made it through life just fine and were hardly ever sick. It was life in the fifties and sixties and we didn’t know much about germs way back then.

So it seems living in an RV has probably lowered my standards even more unfortunately. Because you spend so much time outdoors, you begin to feel one with nature and realize that the great smell of the outdoors on your skin is not so bad. I’ve learned to relax my standards with my lifestyle right now (or I’ve been forced to…not sure which). I don’t scream at the hubs when he wears his outdoor shoes in the house, and this is usually a pet peeve of mine. We've even been known to wear our house slippers outside. I’ve grown accustomed to the smell of sweat on my clothes and the smell of hickory smoke in my hair. I’ve gotten used to wearing my jeans four or five times instead of my usual two or three between washings. Since laundry day only comes once a week, we even wear our socks a couple more times. I don’t mind putting my dirty hair under a ball cap because to wash it now and then hike outside on the trails doesn’t make much sense to me. But even I have my limits. As hubby hugged me goodbye a few minutes ago, he just happened to mention that my hair smelled like the neighbor’s dog.

Oops, I see a shower in my future tonight.

But in case by now you’re thinking you don’t wanna visit my house (when I get one), or eat my food (when I cook some) or give me a hug (if you see me and aren't inclined to run the other way), let me set the record straight. When it comes to clean hands, clean food, clean dishes, and a clean house, I fall somewhere between anal and full-fledged OCD. I probably wash my hands at least 20 times a day whether they need it or not, and I am a total sanitizer freak. I sanitize everything…faucets, sinks, countertops, toilets, door handles, you name it. Anti-bacterial hand wipes are my best friend and I invest a good bit of cash every year in their stock. Letting the floors go is the only thing separating me from being a complete clean maniac when it comes to my house. I’ve let the floors go because to take your shoes off and on when you reside in an RV and are going in and out a hundred times a day is just not feasible. So why even try, right?

So antibacterial wipes have become a staple in my life and heal pretty much anything that ails you. They’re even good for the occasional sponge bath if showering isn’t an option, or even desired. Just pull straight up, tear off, and enjoy a burst of feel-good freshness.

Wishing you health, happiness, and a long, hot shower. You probably feel like you need one right about now.

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My fave white of the woods

My fave whites of the shower!