You know how sometimes you can get discouraged and begin questioning recent decisions and even your daily purpose and feel as though you are so far down that you just might be able to conquer a low limbo pole? Yeah, let me slide under that pole like a snake, because I am just that low. That's been me this week. Then...when you're trying to distract yourself by doing something that will totally turn your mind away from that low place, something happens when you're not expecting it that gives you that little bit of encouragement -- that little boost you need and, once again, the hope has returned and you feel as though you can fly from that booster shot (however little it might've been)! You get a fresh jump start and you begin to feel confidence rising up in your inner self again, and know that you probably -- no, that you will -- survive. That also happened to me this week, and it was in the form of a toilet install. Yep, you heard right, a toilet. You know that little ceramic stool that everyone sits on every single day of every single year of their life? It is strictly a utilitarian device; nothing pretty or decorative about toilets. People have tried to fancy them up and make them more comfortable (remember those cushioned seats from the eighties? Eeew!), but they remain simple, ugly, and as big as life, sitting there in our bathrooms thinking they are truly thrones. Well, I guess they are since we can't do without them.
As I've mentioned many times before, it's so hard for me in the midst of a renovation to pace myself during the not-so-pretty-but-oh-so-necessary first part of the tearing down, the shoring up, and the bringing to code, uh, literally everything in the house. Especially when you shop ahead and find all the pretties at incredible prices and buy them early on because you have a vision and know exactly what you're gonna need and then watch them sit quietly on the sidelines, collecting dust. You lovingly clean them up, swiping off the dust, only to find them days later covered once again with the inevitable debris that falls, flies, and permeates an 1892 renovation. I have longingly pined for the beautiful lighting that sits still and quiet in the corner to be hoisted to its heavenly position in the house, shining down warmth on all who enter. Ditto for the appliances, fixtures, and vanities. I can even picture turning on the faucets...filling the tub for a hot bath... But there it all sits waiting...waiting...waiting until its day comes. It sometimes feels like it never will.
But this week we've made great strides in moving us more towards where we want to be. Except for permanently connecting into the main power source, the electrical is finished. The plumbing is finished and we have that one toilet ready and working well. Now we don't have to run to the nearest business establishment to use the restroom or, worse yet, pee in a cup and pour it out in the backyard like an animal. We've been able to determine that the old 125-year-old tongue and groove that came off the walls in the bedrooms to make room for drywall can indeed be repurposed for flooring and all I can say to that good news is a loud and happy "Cha-chink!" We've power washed the back deck, taking it from slimy green to like-new boards and have been power washing and scraping the house to ready it for exterior paint. This next week we'll tackle one other structural job and then hopefully be ready for the inspector. It's definitely not the end of the project but I think I can finally see a finish line. Way down the road. Somewhere in the distance. Like a ship in the fog on the ocean.
As we inch closer and closer to Thanksgiving, I can't help but feel the excitement of the holidays that hits me each year when the temperature drops, and plans for the holidays start surfacing with family and friends. Every year I say that I WILL NOT get excited about Christmas before Halloween has reared its creepy head, but I do it every time, and I blame the stores and marketing people. But I guess I can't be angry because they, just like you and me, are just trying to make a living, turn a profit, find a life that brings happiness and fulfillment to them. Even those super giants who start marketing the holidays way too early so they won't dare miss a sale is included in that because, after all, they are made up of everyday people just trying to do the same. So with all the hate, disasters, hardship, and tension among people there is in the world today, it encourages my soul to know there's a time when we all try to come together and give thanks for the good in our lives and celebrate a higher purpose. And I'm trying to wake up every morning remembering every blessing I have and focus on those rather than the many struggles around me.
And I thank God for my toilet every single day. The new toilet is AMAZING, even if it is a daily eyesore.
Love. That. Toilet.
"When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself."
Posted by CC
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