It's taken me a lifetime to learn how to do the thing the Beatles sang so eloquently about back in 1970. It was the dawning of a new decade and perhaps they knew something that some, or at least me anyway, didn't know. I, for one, had never heard the phrase until the song came out, and now 46 years later it's as relevant to life as ever. Now, I am not Catholic, so I don't claim to have wisdom which comes from Mother Mary, but I do like to think I can send up a prayer and God hears it. But as I've gotten older and hopefully wiser, I believe it a truth that wisdom comes from God. I'm not saying that great knowledge can't be attained by reading books, attending the best universities and earning an impressive degree (or two), or from other people or even the Beatles, but I do know this: Wisdom is something that is learned and achieved over a lifetime of seeking it out. It is knowing how to USE the knowledge you have earned over the years. And sometimes, it's just plopped into your lap when you're being forced to sit completely still because you're not physically or mentally or emotionally able to go anywhere or do anything. And with that wisdom comes the art of living in the state of letting it be.
I have been house ridden for four days straight. And, believe me, that is not how I intended to spend the last four days. But the Saturday after Thanksgiving, my body decided to shut down in the form of a full-on-blown-out (no pun intended) nasty winter cold. By Sunday evening I was so congested that my nose was completed closed, threatening to throw me into a complete panic attack because I do not do well when I am suffocating. Or stuck in small places which feels like suffocation. My sweet hubby on his white horse trotted down to the local Wal-mart about 10:00 pm and returned with a humidifier which has become my new best friend. Sorry, Jenny...but, hey, you have your heating pad! The humidifier, coupled with a jar of Vicks, lots of fluids, a box of tissues, breathing strips that turn me into pig-nose, some good reading material, and a slew of Hallmark Christmas movies have gotten me through these very non-productive, feeling-like-crap four days stuck inside. Much to my disappointment, I have not been able to work on the jobsite while my sister and brother-in-law have been in town, nor have I been able to do squat for my very-pregnant daughter. I have felt like a huge lump of inadequacy, except to extend to myself the aforementioned comfort measures and wait, in hope, for a better day. One thing I did accomplish, however...I managed to get most of my Christmas shopping done. Thank you, God, for online shopping.
Now, to tie this in with the holidays. I can remember circumstances in my past when I was crushed if things didn't go exactly the way I had envisioned in my unrealistic planning for the holidays. Maybe the family members I had planned the entire holiday around couldn't make it after all. Maybe one of the kids in a moment of isolated ungratefulness said something that destroyed my hopes that they'd had the best Christmas ever. Maybe finances were tight and, instead of having all the gifts wrapped perfectly under a perfectly decorated tree by December 15th, Christmas turned into last minute bargain shopping on Christmas Eve and wrapping gifts at 2:00 am on Christmas morning. But I think I can remember at least one time when sickness called and I was completely shut down and, for me, Christmas was over. It was the year I had just had my third chemo treatment. In spite of my best efforts, Christmas was a poor "get by" that year, and it just about threw me into a deep depression. Christmas was gone for that year, never again to be. I was left with my disappointment, my horribly weary and sick body, and that was the way it was. I had to just LET IT BE. I remember the day after Christmas after I had unintentionally run off the entire family (I was in a bad way), sitting in my chair with my cat. It was bitter cold that day with snow flurries and I was alone both physically and emotionally. I was brought to a state of just being and a tremendous peace came over me that, even though I couldn't do anything, impress anyone, or feel productive or useful, it was totally okay. And it was. Me and Max just sat there in that chair all day, cozy and warm.
As with you I'm sure, December is one of the busiest times of not only my year but of my life. There is not another time of year or season of life where there is more to do, more emotions with which to deal and, sadly it seems, more heartache. Perhaps it feels like there is more heartache because expectations are high but reality is all too -- well, real. Ah, if we could only have one month a year when there were no heartaches, no sickness, no problems, no harsh words, no bitter arguments among family or friends. But this is not a perfect world, we are not perfect human beings, and reality is all too prevalent most of the time. I hope this month you can relax a bit in spite of the busyness, let some things go to bring to the front the things that really matter, and learn to let it be. Remember that there is always hope for a better tomorrow, a healthier day, and a season of prosperity and fewer struggles. And, if Christmas happens to stink this year, keep this in mind...if we're all still here and the creek don't rise, you can make sure a shiny new one will be back around in 12 short months, guaranteed.
And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow
Let it be
I'm not letting you get away without a couple of pics from the jobsite...right now, the place is a wreck. There are cabinets sitting on the floor, appliances still in their boxes, enough wood trim to built a stick fort, and paint buckets galore! But the paint is beautiful and fresh and clean and soon...very soon...I see Sleeping Beauty awake and dressed for the ball!
Posted by CC
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