To me, there is nothing better for putting things into perspective than a day all alone, completely by myself. Since my husband and I are both self-employed, he has actually been working in our home office more than me lately and I find it a rare thing to have the house all to myself now. I finally got that opportunity today and it has mostly consisted of tying up loose ends, doing laundry, catching up on housework, working on a craft project that I've been wanting to do, and writing about how nice it is to have a day completely to myself to do those things (which I happen to be doing right now). Not that I'm complaining. The last two weeks having my daughter and her family here have been amazing and I have cherished every single moment. But since I could not convince them to stay and move in with us permanently (haha), I accepted the fact that things must return to normal and I have made the best of it. There are several things that get me into an obstinate state of mind where I sometimes find myself, and one of those things is not having enough time alone. I start to feel stuck and get anxious, and that results in seeing things not quite like they are but from a skewed perspective, if you know what I mean. Things look bigger, things look scarier, things look way too complicated. Then I get just plain negative, which is a very good sign that I am in need of something more, because by nature I am a very positive person. In fact, most people do not even know when I'm down because I am almost always (even when I'm down) positive. I suppose that is a good thing, but people are shocked to find out I have been struggling because I hide it so well. Except for my my best friend and my brother; they always know.
So for me, time alone with my thoughts is essential to good mental and physical health. I firmly believe that everyone needs alone time, just to have that block of time where no one is demanding of you, asking you for yet another thing, or trying to influence how you spend your day. Time alone cleanses the mind... makes it clear once again to see things with the right perspective, much like your nose feels when it finally(!) clears from a head cold. You can eat all the same foods that you eat before you get a cold, but with a cold they taste totally different -- in fact, much of the time there is no flavor at all. Same with your mind. When it is cluttered with the congestion of life, crammed with things you've not had time to sort or feel or make peace with, your mind like your nose doesn't process life as it really is. But time to sort through, reflect on issues, and have a clearing of the mind is the medicine that brings healing -- sort of like antihistamine for the brain!
As a young mom I craved alone time which, like most young moms, I rarely got. However, on occasion when I'd had a really trying day, my hubby would come home from work and push me out the door to go and have uninterrupted alone time to clear my mind. I will never be able to thank him enough for those times. Sometimes I would just get in the car and drive. I'd stop by my favorite fast food restaurant and order food and just sit in the car all alone in the quiet. It did me a world of good. I know young moms today are busier than ever and pressed for time, and to have a quiet moment for them is a luxury. If you are a young mom, those times are rare now but you will get them one day. There will be a time when all the little ones will be grown and the grandchildren will come in but also go out, and you will find yourself more often having moments alone (as you think about your children and grandchildren). I guess it's one of those little rewards of life that you work for when you're young and you enjoy when you get older. I know I not only enjoy it, but it's a must for me to feel complete and fulfilled. It's during those alone times that I re-set my internal clock.
So one craft project later and with several laundry loads under my belt, I am feeling much better. Not so much because of the actual tasks completed but, by completing those somewhat mindless tasks, I have found solace in my mind because my mind has been emptied and renewed and filled again with hope that comes only from being quiet, new inspiration and, last but not least, the smell of clean laundry...which always makes things right in the world.
If you are one of the very few who doesn't like a little "alone" time, you be cra-cra indeed.
Posted by CC
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