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Oh, So Very Bittersweet

9/5/2015

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PictureAnd here we go again...
I've been using the word bittersweet a lot lately. It seems as though everything in my life has been bittersweet the last six months. The happiness of saying hello to my kids, but having to say goodbye again before I am ready. Moving my daddy into assisted living makes me happy for the help he's getting but seeing him struggle with so many changes makes me sad. And, yes, the time has come to once again bid farewell to another house. It is officially on the market. Our real estate lady has been with us a while and she says I say this about every single house we sell. I am excited for a new adventure, but don't want to leave this house. I guess I get attached to the houses we live in and it becomes personal because I put my touches on every place we buy and sell. Every house we move into and give some TLC becomes a little piece of my heart and saying goodbye is, indeed, bittersweet.

Why do I love this house so much? For many reasons. We have made memories here. This house is a good bit bigger than my last two houses, so we have ample space to host family when they come. Enough space to spread out, go our separate ways if need be, and room to host a big meal around the family table. My hubby says I positively glow when my kids are all together. Add to that an extended family gathering as all the grandkids and our great niece and nephews run around like crazies, and you can hardly see my face it's so bright with joy. This house is surrounded by a hundred undeveloped acres and even though I know -- if we stayed -- the subdivision would be finished and it wouldn't be that way forever, it's been like living in the country close to the city. We have great places to walk, a fully-stocked pond for fishing, and loads of wildlife. I so enjoy hearing the cows moo at the farm next door and don't even mind the occasional donkey-honk. But, hey, no location is perfect. Plus, a good donkey to stand watch helps everyone, wouldn't you say? There is a screened porch on this house...so perfect for cool fall dinners outside. I love my kitchen, complete with white cabinets and countertops and a floor resembling old gray barnwood. It's so bright and cheerful. And did I mention the closet space in this house? Phenomenal! That is one thing I am quite sure I will not get next time. Never have had this much closet space, nor will I ever have it again probably. Bummer.


Why move then you might ask? Because it's what we do. And as much as I will miss living here, I must admit that after living in a place for a year or so, I begin to once again get what I call "The bug." It's a feeling of we've done about all we can do here...wonder what other fixer-upper is out there that could use our love...I need a new challenge...what next adventure is waiting on us? And this is where the bittersweet comes in. I love this house and could really put down some roots here, but I am excited about moving on at the same time. The other day as we worked like dogs putting the finishing touches on some things before our real estate lady showed up, I said to my husband "Are we getting too old to do this anymore? Are we out of our minds? I think we've got at least one or two more flips left in us, don't you?" But both of us are creative people and we are always thinking about how to indulge our creativity, how to make things better, how to make life just a little more exciting, and how to make money. And flipping houses has been a great way for us to do all of that. It has been part of our "entrepreneurship" for the last few years and will probably be for years to come. And I guess in some small way we really enjoy it. Sometimes I think we are just plain crazy. Yes, there are always downsides to everything, like packing up a house for the eighth time in ten years, wondering where you're gonna go between this sale and the next buy, and just the sheer fact of the "unknown."

And then, once again, there's the bittersweet part. Like a fine piece of chocolate, the sweetness melts on your tongue, but the bitterness bites a little. I've had folks ask me many times, "How do you do it? Isn't it sad and hard to fix up a place and then leave it? 

Yes. Yes, it is. 

But then I tell them that no matter how long you live in a house, it's just a house. You never leave your memories there; you take them with you. And no matter how many houses you live in, you still have all those cherished experiences from your very first apartment on, and you take them with you wherever you go, no matter how many places you move in and out of. Oh, I know one day it'll all end when we finally decide we are definitely too old to continue, and we'll hopefully find our little forever home where we can live out our days on planet earth, but I don't think that time has come quite yet. Besides, this is the thing, it's not where you live that makes it home, it's who you live with. I've lived with the same wonderful man for 35 years, and he is my home. I have a picture on my wall with this quote: "Home is wherever I am with you." 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Picture
My cute kitchen
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