Much to my children's angst, I love to remind them of how they behaved when they were little so they never think they are the only parents to experience bad behavior and, with that, to remind them that they are paying for their raising (payin' for their raisin.') when they have challenging moments in parenthood. My mom used to say that to me and I totally did not understand what the heck she was talking about until my own children started bearing offspring. If my military-minded son gets upset when his kids get distracted, don't listen, or don't follow through, I just grin and remember him as a little boy and how he was an juvenile expert at getting distracted. When my eldest daughter is at the point of pulling her hair out as our youngest little angel displays her independence and self-will, I gently remind her that she was just like that (the strongest-willed child EVER), but she developed into a perfectly wonderful person and little P will as well. My youngest doesn't have children yet, so she has been spared the payin' for your raisin' anecdote so far. Sometimes when we are in the battle of child-rearing, we wonder how in the world our own parents survived those years to tell about them if we, in fact, did the same things. We grow weary, pour every last ounce of our energy into these little creatures, and we do it because we love them so very much. The absolute beauty of being a grandparent, however, is we can poke fun at our children while they are raising their own kids. We'll say things like, "Oh, you did that very same thing when you were little. You must be payin' for your raisin.'" Just remember not to say it when they are in the heat of the moment, because they just might give you "the Look." The Look is a look that if looks killed, you would definitely be a goner.
So what does "payin' for your raisin' even mean?
It means if you talked back to your parents when you were young, your kids will do the same, and you're payin' for your raisin..'
It means if you were especially rowdy when you were young, chances are you will have a rowdy child as well, and you're payin' for your raisin...'
It means if you have a picky eater at your house and it totally frustrates you, ask your mom if you were a picky eater. Most likely you were and you're just 'payin for your raisin...'
Can one of your kids talk the ears off a billy goat? I bet you did too when you were their age...and, you know, you're--uh--well, you're 'payin for your raisin.' (BTW, 5-year-olds are experts at talking the ears off a billy goat)
If you have children, it is most likely assured that somewhere along the way, you will realize Oh, my gosh, this kid acts just like I remember acting and is testing my patience. I'm payin' for my raisin'!! We all have things our kids do when we wonder where on earth did my child learn to act like that or where did they get that from? Even though most actions are learned actions, some things are inherently built into the genes. We accept this fact when it comes to looks, coloring, or mannerisms, but not so much with actions and personality traits. It is pretty doggone cute when a young child mimics their parent if it is something smart or desirable but, when it's one of our bad traits, we might wanna say to the onlookers "That's not my kid. Nope, not mine!!" Some things are done just by virtue of being a kid, but many times I think God allows them to act just like we did when we were young in order to remind us what a great price of love and patience was paid to bring us into credible adulthood. Nothing worth having is free and ditto for well-behaved children.
There are definitely other things you can throw up in your children's faces (don't tell my kids I said that). When Hollie got up old enough to realize that her birthday fell right after Christmas, she was quite critical of her dad and me for the audacity we had in birthing her right after Christmas. Now, I know there are people out there who try their best to plan conception at a certain time so that the child will be born at the right time of year, but we definitely WERE NOT one of those couples. We flew by the seat of our pants and did not intentionally get pregnant so that Hollie would be born at Christmas, nor did we research how to predict her birth at any time for that matter. It just happened the way it happened and her birth gave us something incredible to focus on in 1983 after the post-Christmas-holiday let-down. We went into labor on one of the snowiest blowiest nights of the season and, tucked away in the cozy belly of a huge county hospital, brought our little Hollie (Christmas-name adorned!) into the world just in time for a much needed tax break! In my opinion, I don't think we could've planned it better if we'd tried! But Hollie always felt as though her birthday got compromised because it came right after Christmas when everyone was worn out and not thinking about birthdays. And, for that reason, I have always tried to make her birthday extra special.
So it was no surprise to me that Little P was born exactly two days after Christmas and that Hollie will be challenged for the next 18 years to make her "after-Christmas-birthday" memorable. And it's very likely that one day Hollie will remember her own childhood remarks when little P asks her most indignantly "Why did you and Daddy have me right after Christmas? That's an awful time to have a birthday!" And Hollie, bless her heart, will most definitely know what I mean when I tell her that she's just payin' for her raisin.'
A very good example of poetic justice, wouldn't you agree?
Posted by CC
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