The Kiss

Remember the "kissing the war goodbye" photo from the forties with the sailor celebrating the end of the war with a kiss from his love, who also happened to be a nurse? Probably one of the most famous kisses of all time!

Recently, I've been contemplating the simple but also complex act of kissing.  Watching a really good romance movie with lots of (appropriate) kissing gets me to pondering this most basic show of affection like most women.  We gals are motivated by the perfect kiss.  But many times, even my hubs and I have conversed on this subject, giving our personal opinions on kissing and why this action stimulates so much talk, controversy at times, differing opinions, and almost always passion (that is, a good kiss does).  It is truly profound to us as to why a kiss is so enjoyable, talked about so often, and a completely baffling mystery.

   There's the nothing kiss and the everything kiss.  The nothing 
   kiss involves two people simply placing their lips upon each 
   other's, holding that pose for approximately five seconds, and
then letting go.  Pretty boring for the most part.  Then there's the kiss where either the guy or the gal look like they're gonna jump down the other's throat, and these are the kind that can bring on some discomfort for the onlooker -- I think they call this too much PDA, if I'm not mistaken.  But movies run the gamut on kissing -- beginning first kisses, random and unexpected kisses, kisses that lead to more than just a kiss, and so on and so forth.  Most people kiss before marriage, but there are some who think kissing should be reserved for your one and only after marriage and that kissing before marriage gives a part of yourself away that should be reserved for the wedding day (The Duggars, anyone?).  That is a close-to-impossible feat to master as kissing is as natural as eating and sleeping.  Others believe anything goes, and they allow themselves to go way beyond kissing before they even really get to know the kissee, sometimes leading to before-marriage shenanigans that they later regret.  In my beliefs as to the "kissing act," I fall somewhere in the middle.  I don't believe it to be harmful (before-marriage kissing), but do believe it behooves all involved to limit kissing to somewhere between the nothing kiss and the everything kiss.  Most remember their first kiss and most have heard that ol' saying "Sweet 16 and never been kissed."  I think 16 years old is the perfect time to receive a first kiss.  But it should fall more into the "nothing" kiss category at that age.  Then there are some, like my dear son, who admitted to his first kiss with a little girl in preschool (on the lips and under the table, no less).  I don't even remember my first kiss which is pretty sad, but I don't know if it was because it was a nothing kiss or it's just been too darn long.

This weekend I saw a new romantic chick flick just out at the theatre.  It's the most recent book-turned-movie by Nicholas Sparks.  I haven't read many of his books because I feel they're predictable (sorry, Nick) and a bit shallow at times (sorry, again, Nick).  But they are clean for the most part, I like Nicholas Sparks the man, and I don't mind giving to his cause when a new movie comes out.  The Longest Ride was quite good -- in fact, probably his best since The Notebook.  It had multiple layers in the plot, a few surprises, and lots of good kissing by a young couple who had great on-screen chemistry!  It's worth going to see. (This movie critique is free of charge).  But romantic movies (at least for women) give us that charge for romance that we all hope to find in life and, for a brief moment, make us feel that the movie is our very own life being lived out on the screen.  Who hasn't pretended to actually BE Cinderella?  Come on, you know you have!  And even though most romantic movies are far removed from what most of us call real life, I see no harm in indulging in them, as long as they are overall clean and have a decent story behind them.  (My opinion is also free of charge).  You are very welcome.

The above famous picture of the sailor and nurse kissing after the war ended is one of Hollie's favorite pictures. So since she had just received her nursing degree when she became engaged, she wanted to try and duplicate this famous picture in her engagement photos.  Dressed in her old-fashioned nursing dress (in real life she wears scrubs), and donning Adam with a sailor's hat, we attemped to recreate this most-loved photo.  The image below left is the "dip" before the "kiss" with Hollie flashing her ring.  The image to the right is the kiss after being pronounced husband and wife.

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Nurse Hollie and her "sailor" (well, her pretend sailor)

Adam dipping Hollie for that first "kiss" as husband and wife (Photo by Orpheus and Aphrodite)

So what the heck is it that makes kissing -- just the tiny little action of placing one's lips upon another's -- so life-changing and at the same time scary and exhilarating?  I believe, first of all, it's because we as human beings place much emphasis on this demonstration of affection that has been around since the beginning of time.  How many times have we asked someone "Has he kissed you yet?" or "Is he a good kisser?" and various other questions that solidly place kissing as the beginning factor of a relationship that goes beyond mere friendship.  Secondly, I believe the lips are like hands...we can move them in ways that convey either I like you, I like you a lot, or I'm ready to take the relationship to the next level.  But mostly I think just the warm, spit-swapping, tongue-touching process of giving and receiving a kiss is the first and foremost primitive act of love.  It's giving a part of your most intimate self to another.  I don't understand it, but I like it.  

Even though I don't remember my very first kiss, I remember my very first kiss by my husband.  It was our first date.  It was gentle and sweet, somewhere between nothing and everything,  and the beginning of millions of kisses waiting for me in my future.  I will never forget that one.